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Blazar420

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Blazar420

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 June 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 948
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Blazar420 : Some say I'm an asshole, some say I'm a dick. Others think I'm a really nice person. If you can take sarcasm, you'll likely be one of the latter. Always open to meeting new people as long as they're not a moron, so if you're confident you're not a moron feel free to message me.

I like classic rock, punk rock (mostly hardcore and Oi, no fucking emo please), 90's alternative, and some old heavy metal.

I am recently (and happily) divorced and have two kids who are awesome (and always will be).

Blazar420's page activity

Visits<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:37pm<b>marcie19</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 4:35am<b>MigraineurOfLife</b> - the 04/16/2012 at 10:34pm<b>Cinn</b> - the 01/22/2012 at 1:33pm<b>caranina</b> - the 11/23/2011 at 7:48pm<b>Alexisthebestest</b> - the 11/23/2011 at 12:32pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 10:49am

Blazar420's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Blazar420's badges

Blazar420's favorite FMLs

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50714) - you deserved it (7984)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (8477)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

#18012444
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36987) - you deserved it (5713)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (California)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (10771)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30360) - you deserved it (3754)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32941) - you deserved it (9113)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. FML

#17964830
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36992) - you deserved it (5519)

On 10/12/2011 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ksamp - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

#17960494
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (2498)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm - health - by top dog! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (8199)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

#17910892
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:03pm - work - by UglyApparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

#17903421
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33584) - you deserved it (3711)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24856) - you deserved it (2747)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12243) - you deserved it (38719)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

#17893570
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (2786)

On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)



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