Blazar420

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Blazar420

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 June 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2066
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Blazar420 : Some say I'm an asshole, some say I'm a dick. Others think I'm a really nice person. If you can take sarcasm, you'll likely be one of the latter. Always open to meeting new people as long as they're not a moron, so if you're confident you're not a moron feel free to message me.

I like classic rock, punk rock (mostly hardcore and Oi, no fucking emo please), 90's alternative, and some old heavy metal.

I am recently (and happily) divorced and have two kids who are awesome (and always will be).

Blazar420's page activity

Visits<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:37pm<b>marcie19</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 4:35am<b>MigraineurOfLife</b> - the 04/16/2012 at 10:34pm<b>Cinn</b> - the 01/22/2012 at 1:33pm<b>caranina</b> - the 11/23/2011 at 7:48pm<b>Alexisthebestest</b> - the 11/23/2011 at 12:32pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 10:49am

Blazar420's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Blazar420's badges

Blazar420's favorite FMLs

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

by Unknown / 10/18/2011 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

by Eet- / 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. FML

by ksamp / 10/12/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

by top dog! / 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

by UglyApparently / 10/05/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

by dmanrique / 10/04/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

by backtosquareone / 10/04/2011 at 1:22am / Asia/Pacific Region / Love

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

by TheAnnoyedNeighbor / 10/03/2011 at 2:08am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous