I'm a college freshman. I do not like keishe. Any questions?
Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23277) - you totally deserved it (1149)
On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14648) - you totally deserved it (2498)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a milkbone commerical came on TV. At the end of the commercial, they whistle and throw a milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100 lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and pummel my brand new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25884) - you totally deserved it (2142)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18741) - you totally deserved it (1064)
On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17246) - you totally deserved it (895)
On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you totally deserved it (1830)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3401) - you totally deserved it (50300)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26612) - you totally deserved it (1759)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you totally deserved it (1628)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you totally deserved it (2022)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, waiting for the bus, this creepy guy in the terminal kept staring at me. Feeling creeped out, I started walking, knowing I could pick up the bus down the street. When the bus drove up, it was almost completely full and the only open seat was next to the creepy dude from the bus station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you totally deserved it (2517)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:54pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8114) - you totally deserved it (23991)
On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, after months of enduring my neighbors relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you totally deserved it (2097)
On 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by bellaellaella (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 0.50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4655) - you totally deserved it (56312)
On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was informed by my doctor that my stomach lining is inflamed, causing me to vomit almost every time I eat. Oh, and I'm allergic to the only medication to treat it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you totally deserved it (1096)
On 09/15/2009 at 6:16am - health - by Dylan (man) - United States (North Carolina)
