Blackphoenix

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Blackphoenix

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 June 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 451
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Blackphoenix : -19
-university student
-father to an awesome 1 year old boy
-gamer

Blackphoenix's page activity

Visits<b>jill97</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:43am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:05am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 7:22am<b>I_am_GIR</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:06am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:32am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:25pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:40am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:27pm<b>rannerbananer</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:43pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:11am<b>ahd94</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 5:53am<b>vladimirnabokov</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 12:53am<b>Egiskard</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 5:27pm<b>pqysbw</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 1:43pm<b>AnnaIdler</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 11:19pm<b>desiray_vally</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 7:50pm<b>samorzx73o</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 3:53pm<b>deigo10</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:28am

Fucked!<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:25pm

Blackphoenix's FML badges

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Blackphoenix's favorite FMLs

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

by Anon / 05/18/2011 at 7:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML

by JCC / 05/18/2011 at 6:57am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

by markymark / 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

by dammitvasquez / 05/12/2011 at 7:34pm / Canada / Love

Today, on the school bus, I rapped on a window in an attempt to get my friend's attention. A guy sitting behind me took this as an opportunity to shove my face into the window, breaking my nose. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2011 at 5:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

by ClearOne / 05/12/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

by Jackassed / 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

by Username / 05/12/2011 at 7:09am / Love

Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2011 at 3:54am / Health

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2011 at 12:41am / Animals

Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML

by anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:20pm / Health

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

by pigeons_suck / 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I worked 12 long hours cooped up in my office. Before leaving, my boss asked me whether I'll ever take my job seriously. FML

by jamalinho / 05/11/2011 at 1:51pm / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Work