Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BlackPhenom

Search for a member

BlackPhenom

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 387
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BlackPhenom : I love french fries, bacon and Breaking Bad. That is all.

BlackPhenom's page activity

Visits<b>slimblack</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:19pm<b>garage</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:52pm<b>piggybits</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:41am<b>blcusername</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:52pm<b>filvtumogdcnk</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 5:10am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 12:02am<b>CC666</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 6:58pm<b>Nyolia</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 10:09am<b>Disobey</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 9:47pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:15am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 12:40pm<b>kakaofrost</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 6:25pm<b>TheOnlyKittyKat</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:32pm<b>ScenicSubterfuge</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 9:56am<b>TulipCat</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:46pm<b>bambi1989</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 4:08am<b>infection1dlol</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 8:03am

BlackPhenom's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of BlackPhenom's badges

BlackPhenom's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48044) - you deserved it (3485)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60282) - you deserved it (8964)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59532) - you deserved it (21005)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43595) - you deserved it (7437)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49197) - you deserved it (8934)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42034) - you deserved it (3375)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77322) - you deserved it (5287)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47446) - you deserved it (9092)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51315) - you deserved it (3861)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39125) - you deserved it (7195)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: