BinaryGuy

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Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 4:55am)

BinaryGuy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 July 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2409
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BinaryGuy : Just a laid back video gamer.

BinaryGuy's page activity

Visits<b>MarioMareo</b> - 17 hours ago<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:02am<b>CrikOgresmasher</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:52am<b>Sp1k3FML</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:00pm<b>cerlia</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 10:57pm<b>superfail313</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 11:59pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 1:41pm<b>set_me_free123</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 5:11pm<b>gabuliye</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:59pm<b>Katie_S161616</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 3:06pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 5:52pm<b>swaggyjunior</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 1:35am<b>Supcio</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 5:01pm<b>jammy123x</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 3:34pm<b>CorruptAngel920</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 1:40pm<b>Antonia583</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 3:39am<b>incognitogirl</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 2:52pm<b>broly710</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 10:52pm

BinaryGuy's FML badges

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You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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BinaryGuy's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

by loving wife / 04/21/2013 at 6:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

by thanks, my fellow americans / 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

by anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

by scaredofhedges / 01/07/2013 at 5:21am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

by ELparano / 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

by thepigeonsfriend / 05/07/2012 at 10:08am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous