BimmerDriver

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Offline (the 08/05/2014 at 5:10am)

BimmerDriver

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3160
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

About BimmerDriver : Hello, my name is Taylor and i'm 18 years young. I check FML about once or twice a day on my phone when I get bored. I love BMWs. I drive a 1995 BMW M5, a 2011 BMW 335xi, and a 2005 Land Rover Range Rover. I bought them with my own hard earned money and hope to one day own new models of both. (Although the e34 M5 is sexier than any new BMW in my opinion).

Edit:
Sadly my e34 M5 is currently replaced by an e38 740i

BimmerDriver's page activity

Visits<b>Kris_326</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:53pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:23pm<b>californian21</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 7:12am<b>jairolover</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Swarley4</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 3:32am<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:09pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:29pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:32pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:05am<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 3:02am<b>cocomalo8</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 12:29am<b>dylanj0119</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:38pm<b>SyLord</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 11:33am<b>Soparot</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:05am<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:25pm<b>fooad444</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 5:44pm<b>OhSnapItsSkyla</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:49am

Fucked!<b>jairolover</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 2:46am<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:00am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:53pm<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 4:25am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 2:04pm

BimmerDriver's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of BimmerDriver's badges

BimmerDriver's favorite FMLs

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

by vcarder / 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

by mydaughterisdisturbed / 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

by Barking Mad / 08/04/2013 at 7:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

by ¬_¬ / 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

by no new apartment for me / 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm / United States (Maryland) / Work