Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Billdemort

Search for a member

Billdemort

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 June 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 543
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Billdemort's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Billdemort's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

#14415862
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8707) - you deserved it (35157)

On 12/31/2010 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32756) - you deserved it (17121)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54679) - you deserved it (2655)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

#13825222
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (5140)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:24am - love - by sadinmass (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40222) - you deserved it (12144)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10985) - you deserved it (34703)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19436) - you deserved it (25890)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37964) - you deserved it (7988)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34796) - you deserved it (3056)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (20899)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34247) - you deserved it (2647)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML

#13376999
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14374) - you deserved it (23153)

On 10/09/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Kiimmy (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

#13363773
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (6134)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39528) - you deserved it (4255)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

#13339681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36011) - you deserved it (5315)

On 10/06/2010 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: