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BiggBrownAiiz's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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BiggBrownAiiz's favorite FMLs
by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
by whyme / 09/12/2013 at 10:44am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals
Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
by anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:23am / Australia / Love
by Time for a haircut / 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
by GDBeast / 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm / United States / Love
by ugh / 12/26/2012 at 9:05am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by unlucky / 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML
by fuglyphotographer / 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML
by PFCdavila / 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
- Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life,… Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing… Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on…