BigSeedDeed99

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Offline (the 06/21/2016 at 8:31pm)

BigSeedDeed99

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1831
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BigSeedDeed99's page activity

Visits<b>CH_1495</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Jaymee1980</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:10pm<b>xblaine</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:41pm<b>abNormal62</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:21pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:21pm<b>EllyMo</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:19pm<b>Zarcissa</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:02am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 8:25am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:37pm<b>FATALSTR1KE</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:45pm<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:59pm<b>baxeh</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:44am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:37am<b>123ika</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:43pm<b>fabled</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 3:02pm<b>BVBarmy_girl</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 9:04am<b>aveling007</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 10:51pm<b>SansVostro</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 1:52am

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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BigSeedDeed99's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML

by mother teresa was a cunt / 09/17/2015 at 10:54am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

by SilentSin / 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2015 at 6:59am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

by homo fuckofftus / 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

by someoneneedsassistance / 04/24/2015 at 11:07am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

by howaboutthemcarrots / 04/14/2015 at 11:08am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Health

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

by left, I guess / 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Work

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

by misfitunfit / 03/12/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

by generic_name123 / 03/09/2015 at 9:55am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

by assholedad / 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous