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Offline (the 11/18/2015 at 7:23pm) | Search for a member



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  • Number of visits : 1371
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BigSeedDeed99's page activity

Visits<b>CH_1495</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:39pm<b>Jaymee1980</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:10pm<b>xblaine</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:41pm<b>abNormal62</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:21pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:21pm<b>EllyMo</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:19pm<b>Zarcissa</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:02am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 8:25am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:37pm<b>FATALSTR1KE</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:45pm<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:59pm<b>baxeh</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:44am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:37am<b>123ika</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:43pm<b>fabled</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 3:02pm<b>BVBarmy_girl</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 9:04am<b>aveling007</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 10:51pm<b>SansVostro</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 1:52am

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BigSeedDeed99's favorite FMLs

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML


I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (4995)

On 09/17/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by mother teresa was a cunt (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (2632)

On 05/30/2015 at 6:59am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31649) - you deserved it (2267)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (8225)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by Bullet4MyChemaMo - Ireland (Cork)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (3754)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26585) - you deserved it (3941)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32461) - you deserved it (7195)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27312) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML


I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (3163)

On 03/09/2015 at 9:55am - love - by generic_name123 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19547) - you deserved it (57919)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30385) - you deserved it (10148)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (2417)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:43pm - health - by Lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

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Friday 27 November 2015

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