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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I agree, their lives suck
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BigDogMatt's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
by anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 12:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to… Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm… Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so…