BigDogMatt

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BigDogMatt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 January 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 415
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BigDogMatt's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:48pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:21am<b>gingerkid28</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:58pm<b>mind_geek</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:12am<b>sargemoney</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:07pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:27pm<b>etishuman22</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:57pm<b>dillan73</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:07pm<b>Elric97</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:22am<b>calvo_07</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:29pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 10:17pm<b>Evlyah</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 9:14am<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 5:30pm<b>xxblmpknxx</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 10:49am<b>Shaowolf</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:03pm<b>Nohman</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 2:32pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:36am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 8:41am

BigDogMatt's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of BigDogMatt's badges

BigDogMatt's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

by anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 12:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous