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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Bhetti

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Bhetti
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 63759
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Bhetti's favorite FMLs

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

#7198357 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (1547)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

#2428701 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (47723) - you deserved it (14601)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853 (445)

I agree, your life sucks (12029) - you deserved it (94324)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML

#2161329 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (5614)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was surprised to learn that I could carry on intelligent conversations about basketball with my guy friends. Then I realized it was because my boyfriend insists on watching ESPN while we have sex. FML

#2133178 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (47476) - you deserved it (5933)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:04am - intimacy - by S (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

#2131299 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (48320)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, me and my girlfriend were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint? She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12 inch ham sub. FML

#2104597 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (47574) - you deserved it (2840)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:37am - love - by Richie (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband was leaving on a long business trip to Germany. As he's leaving, my daughter starts crying. 'Dont leave me with her !' she says. 'Take me with you !' FML

#2104254 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (5981)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981 (283)

I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (66145)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120442) - you deserved it (28812)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

#1962553 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (34430) - you deserved it (1786)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML

#1961267 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (8666)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (62930) - you deserved it (7530)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (73918)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (53243) - you deserved it (5240)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)