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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4432) - you deserved it (35914)
On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (8356)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (4818)
On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46517) - you deserved it (6271)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7595) - you deserved it (25359)
On 07/10/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by jennyygrace - United States (Florida)
Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7043) - you deserved it (40326)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by ChrisC (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48281) - you deserved it (22968)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13096) - you deserved it (41850)
On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56198) - you deserved it (3544)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52072) - you deserved it (133702)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44069) - you deserved it (2229)
On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (73216) - you deserved it (4312)
On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands
Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13147) - you deserved it (32832)
On 06/26/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by Saucy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (77174) - you deserved it (14556)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88838) - you deserved it (52476)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
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