BerryLime

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BerryLime

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 969
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BerryLime's page activity

Visits<b>kfc14</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:54pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:29pm<b>MrTidbury</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 9:00am<b>covertamerica</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 1:57am<b>Piomega141</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 10:58pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 6:14pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 9:43pm<b>RagerOnTheRocks</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 11:38pm<b>sarcasmOffended</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 6:08am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 3:03pm<b>CrissyyyS2</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 1:56am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 8:56pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 8:35pm<b>Domo17</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 6:51pm<b>WantsHazzasGravy</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 5:19pm<b>taaaaj</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 11:08am<b>Denny1</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 10:15pm<b>jackiemora</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 7:45pm

BerryLime's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of BerryLime's badges

BerryLime's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

by phonesmuggler / 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

by Kutakito / 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

by flea-bitten / 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Work

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

by ohgodwhy / 04/06/2013 at 10:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 10:40am / Latvia / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous