Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bellaness

Search for a member

Bellaness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2509
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Bellaness's page activity

Visits<b>chris274</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:21am<b>pantsman66</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:41pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:55am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:30am<b>ryanpmcg</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 11:34pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:16pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:12pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:56pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:55am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:52am<b>hasabo</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 7:42pm<b>shabbir87</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:57pm<b>je83185</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 1:11am<b>tonijulie</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 7:05am<b>Knox_Murderz</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:30pm<b>woiz</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:37pm<b>thtkidd69</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:06pm<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:45am

Bellaness's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Bellaness's badges

Bellaness's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML

#16277359
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32329) - you deserved it (8911)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:18am - intimacy - by btswc - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39700) - you deserved it (4106)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61828) - you deserved it (9668)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76821) - you deserved it (23584)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

#16144015
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13174) - you deserved it (52553)

On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (14662)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44248) - you deserved it (3331)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

#15956322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32424) - you deserved it (6152)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by suckishbf (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

#15949821
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36836) - you deserved it (4826)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (16514)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML

#15846302
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (4085)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46226) - you deserved it (5687)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

#15844059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (3315)

On 04/19/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by BerkeleyBiker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17665) - you deserved it (36431)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: