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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Beccabee

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Beccabee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22176
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Beccabee's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

#1485215 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (81567) - you deserved it (11213)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

#1182028 (639)

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (21569)

On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

#1052920 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (8251) - you deserved it (42863)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (53384)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (14449) - you deserved it (70168)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. FML

#855959 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (17532) - you deserved it (70570)

On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (11877) - you deserved it (54300)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

#613226 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (19020) - you deserved it (59790)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Kansas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

#566984 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (56350) - you deserved it (7450)

On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (75033)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. While they were gone I threw a party, but when asked I told them no, to which my dad responded " Well I'm currently looking at pictures on facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

#456719 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (10904) - you deserved it (84218)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (2180)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)