Beastz0r

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Offline (the 07/09/2014 at 3:44pm)

Beastz0r

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2593
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Beastz0r : Love to read the FMLs daily.

Beastz0r's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:22am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:36am<b>macyinwonderland</b> - the 05/20/2010 at 9:34pm<b>AngryNinja</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 10:01pm<b>dvd175</b> - the 12/13/2009 at 2:40pm

Beastz0r's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Beastz0r's badges

Beastz0r's favorite FMLs

Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML

by maninpain / 10/10/2011 at 3:44pm / Kenya / Love

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

by crazystar69 / 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 12:05am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm / United States / Geek

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 3:31am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML

by imaqtb / 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2010 at 12:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

by Hatty / 03/14/2010 at 6:50am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

by soomeone / 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

by mallcop / 02/14/2010 at 12:07am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

by AnnaNick / 02/13/2010 at 9:19pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love