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Beastz0r

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Beastz0r
  • Town/Country : Liepaja, Latvia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 April 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1470
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Beastz0r : Love to read the FMLs daily.

Beastz0r's last visitors

macyinwonderlandAngryNinja

Beastz0r's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Beastz0r's badges

Beastz0r's favorite FMLs

Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML

#17952669
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (2571)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:44pm - love - by maninpain - Kenya

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32728) - you deserved it (8859)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45964) - you deserved it (4141)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

#15202722
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30352) - you deserved it (4709)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

#14091459
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (3966)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (3240)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13676) - you deserved it (37409)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

#13830899
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (4119)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12132) - you deserved it (40315)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML

#12970630
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7054) - you deserved it (23070)

On 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm - work - by imaqtb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

#12838070
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23399) - you deserved it (8707)

On 08/31/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

#9068483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8346) - you deserved it (13868)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:50am - misc - by Hatty (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

#8340004
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9816) - you deserved it (20482)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

#8230374
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (1868)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

#8223058
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (8745)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:19pm - love - by AnnaNick (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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