This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51375) - you deserved it (2666)
On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62475) - you deserved it (116334)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39427) - you deserved it (21252)
On 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm - misc - by thathurt (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had 'something serious' to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was 2 hours long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76535) - you deserved it (5344)
On 03/28/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by linren (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47907) - you deserved it (30214)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by enriquegay (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (123856) - you deserved it (9394)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30855) - you deserved it (65561)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84398) - you deserved it (20140)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84398) - you deserved it (20140)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84398) - you deserved it (20140)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77003) - you deserved it (7545)
On 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm - work - by mrWrong (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (57130)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32961) - you deserved it (114333)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136806) - you deserved it (20746)
On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta
Today, I suggested that my mother download Skype so we could video chat while I'm studying in London over the summer. After I had explained how it worked and that it was free, she said "Well...you'll only be gone for a few months. It's not really worth it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54246) - you deserved it (3268)
On 03/22/2009 at 1:45am - kids - by unlovedd (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
