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Batmark's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
by Brian / 11/20/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 7:13am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
by susan / 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 12:49am / United States (California) / Love
by rahavan / 11/07/2012 at 8:38pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by derve / 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
by justcomesnaturally / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML
by Hornymuch / 11/02/2012 at 7:35am / Germany / Work
by you / 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML
by cupnoodles / 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (New York) / Love
by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…