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Batmark's FML badges
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Batmark's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
by Brian / 11/20/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 7:13am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
by susan / 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 12:49am / United States (California) / Love
by rahavan / 11/07/2012 at 8:38pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by derve / 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
by justcomesnaturally / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML
by Hornymuch / 11/02/2012 at 7:35am / Germany / Work
by you / 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML
by cupnoodles / 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (New York) / Love
by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids