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Batman9264

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Batman9264

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 570
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Batman9264 : I like ducks. And zombies. I will someday rid the world of Justin Bieber, then dominate it.
Apart from that, I rather like tables.

Batman9264's FML badges

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Batman9264's favorite FMLs

Today, my math teacher brought his laptop to tally up all our scores for our report card. He then displayed the results on a big screen in front of the whole class. The ones who failed were marked yellow. I was the only one marked yellow. FML

#15025118
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25369) - you deserved it (19064)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by thestudent (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (5080)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

#15019943
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by stuckinalift (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

#15017196
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35610) - you deserved it (3812)

On 02/17/2011 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Faluna (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

#15016068
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46062) - you deserved it (5378)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

#6659884
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11034) - you deserved it (29061)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (144817)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

#1775863
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37050) - you deserved it (23687)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:50am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

#879478
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65297) - you deserved it (8534)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

#869824
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57682) - you deserved it (5773)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:08pm - animals - by redmethod87 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74911) - you deserved it (7915)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

#5320
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (7519)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18619) - you deserved it (6436)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)



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