Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bathory

Search for a member

Bathory

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11028
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Bathory's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:34am<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:18am<b>VHNox</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:51pm<b>yuriel</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 2:59pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:53am<b>jawidm</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 11:45pm<b>Zrtuy1</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 2:15pm<b>Boys_Cars</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 3:51am<b>rubez08</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:11pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 3:42am<b>revan546</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 8:12pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:28pm<b>OperationAxis</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:45am<b>rawrimaeatchu</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:38pm<b>MyUsernameKatie</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 4:10am<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 2:12am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 1:50pm

Bathory's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Bathory's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

#4827705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63155) - you deserved it (3522)

On 08/26/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML

#4805329
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55393) - you deserved it (9933)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by 2yearsofHotSexThenThis (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML

#4792669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10913) - you deserved it (54674)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

#4789213
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15046) - you deserved it (53282)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by InTheDoghouse23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

#4779323
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (16823)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Mattyboy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

#4777609
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (6877)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

#4763685
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30043) - you deserved it (3315)

On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML

#4747171
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (7057)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:41pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

#4736198
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49581) - you deserved it (5995)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36273) - you deserved it (4115)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML

#4706873
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37162) - you deserved it (2774)

On 08/21/2009 at 11:36am - love - by sophistication (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15382) - you deserved it (46869)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58763) - you deserved it (3401)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend threw me a going-away party. During the party, I caught him in my bedroom hooking up with my friend because "you're leaving soon anyway so it doesn't matter." I'll only be gone for 6 weeks. FML

#4694053
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (2790)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by lonelyinlondon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: