Bathory

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Bathory

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 September 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14897
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Bathory's page activity

Visits<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:22am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 6:42pm<b>ImaGiveUpNow</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 6:13pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 3:15pm<b>dno79</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 12:23pm<b>21PGreenDay</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:25pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 6:38pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 10:36pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:05am<b>Uberimmortalomen</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 2:10pm<b>pengyvan</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:36am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:39pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:34pm<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:47pm<b>DropDead8499</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 5:05am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:42am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:26pm<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:58pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:26am

Bathory's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Bathory's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

by some_girl_19 / 08/05/2009 at 9:04am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

by superfiedman / 08/04/2009 at 4:40am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

by BeboKhaos / 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

by MickeyDManager / 08/03/2009 at 11:08am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

by Tuck_My_Life / 08/03/2009 at 1:15am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2009 at 10:08am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2009 at 9:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

by Glassjaw / 08/01/2009 at 3:23am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, this guy I have been hanging out with for a while came over and we were about to do it. He pulled off my clothes and once I was naked I reached for his zipper. He just backed up and said he was a virgin and simply wanted to see me naked. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2009 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

by WiltedFlower / 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love