Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bathory

Search for a member

Bathory
  • Town/Country : United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 8919
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Bathory's last visitors

revan546hahatofunnyOperationAxisDaDezza244rawrimaeatchuMyUsernameKatiesneakattackedEllaJSwiftieSp4deViennaJessicaAtil_Pander

Bathory's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Bathory's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my husband never wanted to marry me, he only did because I wouldn't quit pestering him to propose to me. FML

#6717933
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9307) - you deserved it (46451)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12078) - you deserved it (32223)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

#6689235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7919) - you deserved it (34269)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML

#6680637
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (31323)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML

#6666980
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (3722)

On 12/08/2009 at 5:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor took out a restraining order against me. She told the cops that for the last week, I've been standing in my yard looking at her though her bedroom window. It's my blow up Santa in the yard, not me. FML

#6637794
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (2089)

On 12/06/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

#6602015
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (12293)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by lamed (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

#6596231
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (6675)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:16am - kids - by PhDdaughter (woman) - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML

#6552021
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (2996)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by sassman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42295) - you deserved it (2693)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53693) - you deserved it (2667)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

#6228123
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (1730)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

#6228123
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (1730)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as "you don't want to turn out like this." FML

#6222745
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (4548)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

#6217928
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: