This member hasn't filled in the description.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68838) - you deserved it (3077)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48764) - you deserved it (6600)
On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52233) - you deserved it (6809)
On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41685) - you deserved it (2803)
On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28575) - you deserved it (94468)
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (4856)
On 04/22/2013 at 1:06am - love - by And you think I'M crazy? (woman) - United States
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35670) - you deserved it (12259)
On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37845) - you deserved it (2815)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by wallet? GONE (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36501) - you deserved it (4939)
On 04/21/2013 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37631) - you deserved it (4429)
On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46535) - you deserved it (5119)
On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60920) - you deserved it (5650)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47982) - you deserved it (5905)
On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46364) - you deserved it (3463)
On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36729) - you deserved it (16249)
On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
