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Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2993) - you totally deserved it (1155)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you totally deserved it (1502)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by ughno - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15433) - you totally deserved it (1251)
On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2.5 years told me that he believes in females being subservient, and I am not allowed to have opinions anymore. AND he is "the Alpha Dog" and I'm merely the "Beta Dog", so I have to "get used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17478) - you totally deserved it (3687)
On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17989) - you totally deserved it (1077)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I peed at a urinal. This was a feat for me because I'm a nervous pee-er. It was going great until some guy walked into the empty bathroom and picked the urinal next to mine. Midway through he turns to me and says 'Nice watch.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15648) - you totally deserved it (1479)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by Itsamovado - United States
Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18269) - you totally deserved it (3353)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16766) - you totally deserved it (1484)
On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18076) - you totally deserved it (1973)
On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12998) - you totally deserved it (1860)
On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5135) - you totally deserved it (20486)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13746) - you totally deserved it (1987)
On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3622) - you totally deserved it (26671)
On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the grocery store where this really hot guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it so I swiped it quickly ten times before getting frustrated and saying "your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1938) - you totally deserved it (17622)
On 12/13/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by MissSmarts (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He proceeded to tell me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you totally deserved it (3262)
On 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm - love - by Trainwreck (woman) - United States (Colorado)
