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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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BUTTPLUG

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BUTTPLUG
  • Town/Country : Angus, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2041
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About BUTTPLUG : 16 years old/Bilingual/5'6

BUTTPLUG's last visitors

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BUTTPLUG's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

BUTTPLUG's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML

#3840283 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (39707) - you deserved it (2128)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by heresmybellybotton (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (289129) - you deserved it (35503)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (21563) - you deserved it (74815)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML

#1683543 (547)

I agree, your life sucks (15574) - you deserved it (84118)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

#1659307 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (155945) - you deserved it (31479)

On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (77811)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (79584) - you deserved it (3716)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (586)

I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (115398)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (180395) - you deserved it (31968)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178 (1025)

I agree, your life sucks (44486) - you deserved it (517516)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My team mates waved and said "Bye POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML

#154058 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (64320) - you deserved it (3771)

On 02/27/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by ap84 - United States (California)



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