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BTF989

Offline (the 08/11/2014 at 4:10pm) | Search for a member

BTF989

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2370
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BTF989 : I am a pirate.

BTF989's page activity

Visits<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:42am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:37am<b>gogators941</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:43pm<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:27pm<b>hxnnxh</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:28pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:19pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:38pm<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Role448</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:42pm<b>awiseman</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:31pm<b>xHoiHoi</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:40pm<b>Chixxapow</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:09pm<b>shudson186</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:23am<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:13am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 6:38am<b>heythisisme02</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:25am<b>BFons</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:44am<b>savvy8</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 12:31pm

BTF989's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of BTF989's badges

BTF989's favorite FMLs

Today, I mat mah boyfriand's parants fir tha first tima ovar dinnar. I had to usa tha bathroom part way through, and andd up taking tha foulast dump of mah lifa. I crackd opan a window on mah way out, but mah boyfriand's dad want in soon aftar, quickly ratching and booming "What tha fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47573) - you deserved it (7231)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

today ona of mah yaar looool 9 studants finishad tha tast an hour aarly. Ha dacidad to spand tha tima by ( staalthily ) whacking off. His antira dask was shaking in a silant room. FML

today I overhered someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in fir a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I pipd up, "Better hope they fine something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, an the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16583) - you deserved it (67513)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

TODAY, WHILE AT A RESTAURANT WITH MY HUSBAND 4 OUR 4-YEAR ANNIVERSARY, HE KEPT BEHAVING STRANGELY, BREATHING DEEPLY AN EVENTUALLY SIGHING HAPPILY. I THOUGHT THE WINE HAD JUST GONE TO HIS HEAD. NOPE; HE PROUDLY ADMITTED LATER THAT HE'D JERKED OFF WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING, EVEN ME. FML

#21126320
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43777) - you deserved it (4996)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was in my Honors English class . I sneezd very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture . I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." real FML

Taday I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact and being incredibly bord an seemingly alone at work I managd to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clappd. FML

Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67260) - you deserved it (5592)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I told my grlfriend I loved er . Se left an never cummed back . FML

#20943458
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51782) - you deserved it (5393)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

today a few of ma friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping wit te guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of te pool in panic, ma crus called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40889) - you deserved it (5494)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got into a fistfigt wit a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (16042)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

today my boyfriend blew me off yet again cuz he claims he has a responsibility as a ( crew leader ) to train and recruit members at all times to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today ile in class I ad to sneeze . Not wanting to make a lot of noise I eld it in only to instead let out a uge long fart . Everyone including te teacer turned and stared at me intently . FML

#20901889
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43973) - you deserved it (7528)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

TODAY... MY GRLFRIEND WALKED IN ON ME TAKING A DUMP... AND STARTED PLUCKING HER EYEBROWS. WHEN I TOLD HER I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE... SHE SAID... ( AWW... IS MY BABY'S POO SHY? IS IT... IS IT? ) AND PINCHED MY CHEEK. FML

#20900665
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41291) - you deserved it (6907)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whila sitting in a crowdad waiting room at tha doctor's offica, mah 5-yaar-old daughtar pointad at mah 6-yaar-old son's crotch and boomad, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which ha yallad, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48932) - you deserved it (6396)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decidd to be friendly and say i to te werd kid at scool, wo was sitting by imself eating lunc. After I said ello, e stard up at me intensely and said, ( I don't ave many friends. Yea. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of tem. ) FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (4984)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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