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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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BLiNdZoRz

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BLiNdZoRz
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 October 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 871
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About BLiNdZoRz : blah blah

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BLiNdZoRz's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (33773) - you deserved it (2173)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (32077) - you deserved it (2363)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (38133) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

#5224172 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45752) - you deserved it (10322)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (39019) - you deserved it (5944)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (8521) - you deserved it (51749)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (58552) - you deserved it (2853)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

#5096341 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (4900)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (590)

I agree, your life sucks (84477) - you deserved it (17443)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (31256) - you deserved it (12730)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (44795) - you deserved it (3099)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (27851) - you deserved it (1785)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52116) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)