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B1ackMagic

Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 1:02pm) | Search for a member

B1ackMagic

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  • Number of visits : 224
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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B1ackMagic's page activity

Visits<b>CrippledEar</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 11:17pm

B1ackMagic's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of B1ackMagic's badges

B1ackMagic's favorite FMLs

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43746) - you deserved it (5245)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58895) - you deserved it (7477)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64837) - you deserved it (6581)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (2282)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

#19889661
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11696) - you deserved it (26415)

On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19161) - you deserved it (36702)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (5312)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (7760)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12532) - you deserved it (75572)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44030) - you deserved it (3263)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27933) - you deserved it (5969)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

#14626510
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (4582)

On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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