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Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14172) - you deserved it (24765)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28976) - you deserved it (1785)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6795) - you deserved it (28771)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17658) - you deserved it (1204)
On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17658) - you deserved it (1204)
On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/11/2012 at 5:53am - health - by Scabby (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16254) - you deserved it (3420)
On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9916) - you deserved it (27629)
On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States
Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (35132)
On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5858) - you deserved it (24672)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (1314)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16441) - you deserved it (2110)
On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I found a $10 bill on the ground. I got so excited and felt like I was the richest person alive. That was, until the wind blew it out of my hand, never to be seen again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17879) - you deserved it (6198)
On 03/21/2012 at 4:13pm - money - by MoneyMoneyMoneyMonayMONAY (woman) - United States
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23058) - you deserved it (13327)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (910)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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