Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AwkwardPartyBear

Offline (yesterday at 4:47am) | Search for a member

AwkwardPartyBear

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3761
  • Number of comments : 301
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About AwkwardPartyBear : ~Hello There Stalker! Im Awkward!~I am a magical pony who lives in Pinkie Pie's basement. She feeds me apple pie made from AppleJack's family! And Fluttershy lets me pet her bunny! Rarity handles the clothing down here and keeps me updated on the latest fashion. Anyways, I never come out often, because I'm on the FML app. I'm undercover to get interesting stories for Twilight. Also, I have a drunk bear holding balloons in its paws on my upper right asscheek, like most ponies who have random crap on their ass. I can fly like some ponies do, but I am also a Unicorn. Even though my kickass flying makes ponies jelly, RainbowDash always beat me in races. That bastard! Derpy is one of my bestest friends (We like to derp alot). The ponies call me awkward, because there for, I am awkward. My original name in pony language is Neeeeeyyyy.. But in English it is PartyBear. I will be happy to teach you horse language if you like.

AwkwardPartyBear's page activity

Visits<b>lj19717</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:30pm<b>madewithlove</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:02pm<b>otumboo</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:59am<b>tannere</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:27am<b>ClawedMatrix</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:13pm<b>RedneckWeaver</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:20pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 2:19pm<b>ukeandfoodislife</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:19am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:45am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:03am<b>annabubs</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:10am<b>citrusfruit</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:54am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:02pm<b>JoshuaOdom</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:41am<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:22am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:13am<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:21pm<b>xter7856</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 12:09am

AwkwardPartyBear's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of AwkwardPartyBear's badges

AwkwardPartyBear's favorite FMLs

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you deserved it (12365)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21824) - you deserved it (44887)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

#20524027
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (3778)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42776) - you deserved it (5397)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35733) - you deserved it (4214)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (10322)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12410) - you deserved it (52736)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (3193)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (4365)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML

#20496678
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11385) - you deserved it (55643)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (2822)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (2822)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30230) - you deserved it (4336)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (31771)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29088) - you deserved it (2856)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: