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About AwkwardPartyBear : ~Hello There Stalker! Im Awkward!~I am a magical pony who lives in Pinkie Pie's basement. She feeds me apple pie made from AppleJack's family! And Fluttershy lets me pet her bunny! Rarity handles the clothing down here and keeps me updated on the latest fashion. Anyways, I never come out often, because I'm on the FML app. I'm undercover to get interesting stories for Twilight. Also, I have a drunk bear holding balloons in its paws on my upper right asscheek, like most ponies who have random crap on their ass. I can fly like some ponies do, but I am also a Unicorn. Even though my kickass flying makes ponies jelly, RainbowDash always beat me in races. That bastard! Derpy is one of my bestest friends (We like to derp alot). The ponies call me awkward, because there for, I am awkward. My original name in pony language is Neeeeeyyyy.. But in English it is PartyBear. I will be happy to teach you horse language if you like.
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Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML
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Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML
Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML
Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
Friday 31 October 2014