Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Auzou

Search for a member

Auzou

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2580
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Auzou : I enjoy Tae Kwon Do, since I have been doing it for around 6 years. And i LOVE golf :D And my favorite music group is...LMFAO! >:D aaaaannnnddd New Boyz! Cuz "I ride skiiniez!" xD So Whaaat?!

Auzou's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:39pm<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 01/19/2011 at 6:55pm<b>torrieee</b> - the 07/25/2010 at 9:11pm<b>allison00</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 9:16pm<b>_SexyLexi_</b> - the 07/04/2010 at 7:49pm<b>jb002873</b> - the 06/30/2010 at 10:39am<b>cristinaa_</b> - the 06/24/2010 at 6:33pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 06/20/2010 at 7:35pm<b>KaylaCrow</b> - the 06/06/2010 at 11:27am<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 06/03/2010 at 9:28am<b>Virus963</b> - the 06/02/2010 at 8:46pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/21/2010 at 9:44am<b>MagicShyStars</b> - the 04/12/2010 at 9:45pm<b>macyinwonderland</b> - the 04/11/2010 at 3:40pm<b>navybabebridget</b> - the 04/11/2010 at 1:30am<b>Othello22</b> - the 04/08/2010 at 5:51pm<b>MiZzDiVaB</b> - the 04/08/2010 at 4:03pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 04/07/2010 at 9:09pm

Auzou's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Auzou's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30069) - you deserved it (5238)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34127) - you deserved it (11449)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36237) - you deserved it (6879)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35603) - you deserved it (18796)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42976) - you deserved it (7848)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

#18137522
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (2811)

On 11/02/2011 at 10:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

#18137309
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28975) - you deserved it (13119)

On 11/02/2011 at 9:50am - love - by S. Bauer (woman) - Portugal

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

#18136317
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (9413)

On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (14629)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16891) - you deserved it (30782)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32064) - you deserved it (7930)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40427) - you deserved it (5219)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML

#13141247
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (13061)

On 09/21/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML

#13139636
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29568) - you deserved it (4701)

On 09/21/2010 at 4:50am - misc - by teardrops - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: