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AuroZ

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AuroZ

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  • Number of visits : 319
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AuroZ's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49295) - you deserved it (4756)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (91607)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41388) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50006) - you deserved it (4610)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37731) - you deserved it (4003)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51480) - you deserved it (3968)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44421) - you deserved it (5029)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34999) - you deserved it (2944)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (1929)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (19198)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21045) - you deserved it (3318)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

#19218183
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18395) - you deserved it (5558)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - health - by wtbfiber (man) - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

#18936126
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (30076)

On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

#18225112
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (4032)

On 11/12/2011 at 1:41am - love - by kirrby - United States (Nevada)

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

#17864370
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (2499)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by littlepsychgirl (woman) - United States (California)



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