About Audiobliss : What's to say? Love the outdoors, my hometown and my friends.
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Audiobliss's favorite FMLs
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
by fmlifetime / 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
by Oops / 10/24/2009 at 9:14am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love
by nnnaaazzz / 10/24/2009 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
by Twinner / 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Transportation
by Bee / 08/31/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
by yumx24 / 05/30/2009 at 9:45am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
by sucksforme. / 05/10/2009 at 1:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML
by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML
by sad_gay / 04/16/2009 at 4:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by andjusticeforall / 02/15/2009 at 8:28am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation