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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17470) - you deserved it (4022)
On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (2308)
On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (2793)
On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (36120)
On 11/29/2010 at 1:26pm - love - by vhtdgjj - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (3851)
On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (10478)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (6421)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (4598)
On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28287) - you deserved it (4778)
On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (2981)
On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6737) - you deserved it (63757)
On 08/31/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Bee (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67184) - you deserved it (9715)
On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58151) - you deserved it (2103)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14651) - you deserved it (43652)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (10144)
On 05/30/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by yumx24 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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