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Audem's favorite FMLs
Today, my class and I were discussing our country's relationship with other countries. One person stated that the French have never done anything for us. A classmate took that moment to chime in and ask, "I thought the French gave us that giant statue of the Mona Lisa?" He was dead serious. FML
by crazymentalblond / 11/17/2016 at 6:47am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by mycountryisdumb / 11/09/2016 at 1:54am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by dudewheresmywheelschicago / 09/20/2016 at 1:14am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
by Sisi / 08/29/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Emmereen / 08/22/2016 at 10:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2016 at 8:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML
by justplaindumb / 08/03/2016 at 8:48pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/19/2016 at 11:01pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my company used a nice photo of my coworkers and me for their corporate website, in efforts to make their office seem fun and relaxed. This wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't just fired every single person in the photo, myself included. FML
by Welp / 07/03/2016 at 8:39am / Romania / Work
by DesperateMother / 06/28/2016 at 6:12am / France (Alsace) / Kids
Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to 'break it up' with a gloved finger, and then he sent me home with directions on how to administer an enema. I do not recommend trying to give an enema to a kid that doesn't want one. FML
by anon mom / 05/11/2016 at 8:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML
by UniGrad2019 / 01/25/2016 at 11:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I went to the hospital for a scan. The tech went wide-eyed and stared at his screen in horror before realizing I could see him. He wouldn't tell me what he saw, apparently only my doctor is allowed to do that. So now I have to wait for god knows how long to get my results back. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 10:02pm / United States / Health