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AubreyDucrat's FML badges
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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
AubreyDucrat's favorite FMLs
by skidmark / 12/08/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by smileytheface / 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love
Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Hunterisawesome / 11/18/2011 at 2:24pm / Reserved / Transportation
by alliez108 / 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
by Cooper491 / 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by unnamed / 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (New York) / Work
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the… Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then… Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my…