AubreyDucrat

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Offline (the 03/14/2016 at 4:59am)

AubreyDucrat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1200
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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AubreyDucrat's page activity

Visits<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Blakeup</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:11am<b>showmeyourears</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:58am<b>HortonThelephant</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 5:59pm<b>Carebeareatu</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 9:48pm<b>IcemistDragon</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 8:49pm<b>XxKingQuacksxX</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 4:33pm<b>lambda</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 3:53pm<b>miralars</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 3:14pm<b>TheDrifter</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:41pm<b>jemmers</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:31pm<b>BOSSISH</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:17pm<b>bearerofbadnews</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:13pm<b>Altair18</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:03pm<b>Spartickus</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 1:50pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 1:26pm<b>aus_r34p3r</b> - the 05/13/2012 at 11:37pm

AubreyDucrat's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of AubreyDucrat's badges

AubreyDucrat's favorite FMLs

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my mother screamed and swore at me because I said I was looking to move out soon. Apparently, the idea of me moving out at 27 and her getting a job to pay her own way is devastating. FML

by whyme / 03/10/2012 at 6:37pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 9:20am / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML

by Ismellbacon / 02/29/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

by Vitriol / 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm / France / Love

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

by jumbledgirl / 01/10/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Work

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

by Scarred4Life / 01/01/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

by thathurt / 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous