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Atoraya96

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Atoraya96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 264
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Atoraya96's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:27pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:56am

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Atoraya96's favorite FMLs

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32651) - you deserved it (4222)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (5136)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (4221)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47702) - you deserved it (13605)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (7251)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (16769)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (4377)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37063) - you deserved it (4077)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (1947)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21589) - you deserved it (27268)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

#18413058
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8891) - you deserved it (36963)

On 12/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by gtfb1993 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (16806) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

#11911406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (43218)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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