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Atoraya96

Offline (the 08/04/2015 at 5:32pm) | Search for a member

Atoraya96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 June 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 458
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Atoraya96's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:27pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:56am

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Atoraya96's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

#21450491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (2994)

On 08/01/2015 at 3:06pm - animals - by Wow (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (14395)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (34645)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34860) - you deserved it (4668)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45036) - you deserved it (5873)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (4243)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50244) - you deserved it (14464)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (7666)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28400) - you deserved it (17764)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (4389)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39812) - you deserved it (4337)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33796) - you deserved it (2121)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States



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