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Astroman129

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Astroman129
  • Town/Country : United States of Amuhrika
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 April 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 4690
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Astroman129 : Yes, that is my dog in my pic. Yes, he is adorable.

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Astroman129's favorite FMLs

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

#2963863
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42068) - you deserved it (7219)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77545) - you deserved it (5313)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (13147)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

#2822887
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81435) - you deserved it (9229)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

#2820229
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54141) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by dontevenassk (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64672) - you deserved it (14313)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

#2796619
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90703) - you deserved it (7758)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:51am - money - by TSampson (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (72686)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92832) - you deserved it (5728)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15122) - you deserved it (43847)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69239) - you deserved it (179696)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

#2436304
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52946) - you deserved it (3789)

On 05/30/2009 at 3:50pm - health - by quietdown (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56357) - you deserved it (7233)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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