About Astroman129 : Yes, that is my dog in my pic. Yes, he is adorable.
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Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45899) - you deserved it (15273)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55675) - you deserved it (3246)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML
I agree, your life sucks (72673) - you deserved it (2840)
On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44785) - you deserved it (4906)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59557) - you deserved it (12170)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32080) - you deserved it (2868)
On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7288) - you deserved it (61485)
On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44461) - you deserved it (3023)
On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - kids - by bbbkingsey (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9086) - you deserved it (43121)
On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14261) - you deserved it (28478)
On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (12987)
On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38295) - you deserved it (2783)
On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (1707)
On 07/11/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by ttsutaoka (man) - United States (California)
Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37790) - you deserved it (2910)
Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56931) - you deserved it (2031)
On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 20 May 2013
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