Astroman129

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Astroman129

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 9463
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Astroman129 : Yes, that is my dog in my pic. Yes, he is adorable.

Astroman129's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:30pm<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 11:35pm<b>kaylianpeeters7</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 4:39am<b>usbutuk</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:58am<b>Xealkry</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:39pm<b>PDSot</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 10:56pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 9:14pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:23am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:52pm<b>bookgirl_7</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:26pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:21am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:18am<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 11:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:43pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:55pm<b>BigDub7013</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:44am<b>Valcannos</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:22am

Astroman129's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Astroman129's badges

Astroman129's favorite FMLs

Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML

by ritualdevice / 12/15/2009 at 3:30am / Work

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

by luckygirl / 12/14/2009 at 4:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 9:34am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

by OnlyIfYouLoveMe / 11/23/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

by ApparentlyIFail / 11/20/2009 at 4:30am / Love

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

by Klepto / 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

by DeeElleGee / 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

by prayforme / 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

by miseventshappen / 11/09/2009 at 12:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

by legotron / 10/30/2009 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm / United States (California) / Animals