Astroman129

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Astroman129

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 10274
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Astroman129 : Yes, that is my dog in my pic. Yes, he is adorable.

Astroman129's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:30pm<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 11:35pm<b>kaylianpeeters7</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 4:39am<b>usbutuk</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:58am<b>Xealkry</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:39pm<b>PDSot</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 10:56pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 9:14pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:23am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:52pm<b>bookgirl_7</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:26pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:21am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:18am<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 11:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:43pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:55pm<b>BigDub7013</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:44am<b>Valcannos</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:22am

Astroman129's FML badges

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Astroman129's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

by theman / 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

by tomandjerry / 05/21/2009 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 8:40am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

by nothing / 05/18/2009 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a little girl came up to me and said "Hi, my name is Lindsey, lets be friends!". I thought she was cute so I played along and said "Okay! My name is Jen!" Her Reply: "Wait, nevermind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 12:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML

by heartless / 05/15/2009 at 2:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

by bezoar10 / 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

by bumgirl / 05/08/2009 at 3:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

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