About Astroman129 : Yes, that is my dog in my pic. Yes, he is adorable.
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Astroman129's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
by vanessa560 / 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Danou / 03/28/2011 at 9:51am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by seepeezy32 / 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy
by me / 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids
- Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes… Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away.… Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop."…