AssassinsCRB

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AssassinsCRB

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 420
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About AssassinsCRB : Love to code and love Harry Potter.

AssassinsCRB's page activity

Visits<b>BigLeem</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 7:14am<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 10:29am<b>fangirlofthings</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 12:01am<b>Csoi</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:35pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:46pm<b>divaballerina</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:48am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:52pm<b>gej12345</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:25am<b>e001122</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 7:15pm<b>umakemesic</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:40am<b>JakeAndCake</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 9:28am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:47pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 9:25am<b>Cherrybunny01</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 11:06am<b>bluehero</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 9:12am<b>Lores2101</b> - the 09/12/2012 at 2:01am<b>barnee26</b> - the 09/11/2012 at 11:26am

AssassinsCRB's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

AssassinsCRB's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 4:47pm / New Zealand (Otago) / Health

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

by PissOffPottermore / 09/13/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

by greeple / 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 7:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:44am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Health

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Health

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

by rejected4555 / 08/03/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

by NaKreen / 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

by tammy / 06/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love