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Askedforit's favorite FMLs
by pkstarstorm / 07/14/2009 at 2:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
by failhusband / 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Utah) / Love
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
by embarrassed4life / 06/25/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
by shizzy09 / 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML
by clementine_k / 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Noname / 02/23/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by grlks / 02/19/2009 at 2:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by crazycutie1027 / 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…