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Askedforit's favorite FMLs
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids
by Cat / 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
by spacemanspiff78 / 10/31/2011 at 11:07am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 1:02am / United States / Love
by backstabbed / 10/29/2011 at 3:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
by Awie / 10/20/2011 at 4:26am / Austria (Wien) / Love
by SpikeStanley / 10/20/2011 at 2:56am / United States / Intimacy
by stdpositivenow / 10/18/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Florida) / Health
by Andrew / 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by thedeerman / 09/17/2011 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by foreseeingabreakup / 09/06/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Intimacy
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by True Story / 08/29/2011 at 8:46am / Canada / Love
- Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room,… Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not… Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her…