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Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (4760)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37638) - you deserved it (2686)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23120) - you deserved it (13362)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30034) - you deserved it (2310)
On 11/05/2010 at 5:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7677) - you deserved it (25978)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57274) - you deserved it (1911)
On 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm - money - by crookedteeth (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18561) - you deserved it (31681)
On 07/08/2009 at 8:08am - work - by joybirdnot_13 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49201) - you deserved it (6978)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (182065) - you deserved it (25547)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41449) - you deserved it (47379)
On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (203433) - you deserved it (59404)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (446006) - you deserved it (72701)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13587) - you deserved it (161317)
On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (471071) - you deserved it (584933)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33365) - you deserved it (389116)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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