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About AshleyBThaMilf : I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46635) - you deserved it (5105)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32844) - you deserved it (488360)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to shit in. He talked to me the entire time. About his love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52509) - you deserved it (2597)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:13pm - misc - by blah (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86615) - you deserved it (3069)
On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68109) - you deserved it (3693)
On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47942) - you deserved it (2371)
On 06/05/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by layout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30831) - you deserved it (99788)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47636) - you deserved it (2310)
On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (26878)
On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53072) - you deserved it (12040)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (191274) - you deserved it (9751)
On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (275691) - you deserved it (25306)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (377387) - you deserved it (54136)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (129773) - you deserved it (8231)
On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (157632) - you deserved it (19655)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
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