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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Ashes_03

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Ashes_03
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4648
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Ashes_03 : I'm a nerd, a geek, and a dork... a gnork if you will. I believe most females are idiots who fuck their own lives over with their insecurities, psychotic mental workings, and contorted realities of how men truly operate. I'm very opinionated and sarcastic.

Oh, and my philosophy is that nothing is sexier than a person with a good sense of humor and a sharp wit.

Ashes_03's last visitors

meganderfish1806misslicoricelaffytaffyericbrat20Jernau_Gurgeh

Ashes_03's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ashes_03's favorite FMLs

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (14587) - you deserved it (70566)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (353)

I agree, your life sucks (57676) - you deserved it (15061)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (55839) - you deserved it (10663)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (170809) - you deserved it (52056)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (24745) - you deserved it (58950)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

#553783 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (80041) - you deserved it (7565)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I just got back from a Civil War Reenactment in Virginia, my first big event in years. I spent over $200 on gas and food, and had to drive for over 10 hours both ways from Massachusetts. When I finally got there I realized, I had left my uniform at home. FML

#548341 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (20041) - you deserved it (44456)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by Earthboundb (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML

#498194 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (99512)

On 03/20/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733 (543)

I agree, your life sucks (35950) - you deserved it (225370)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (17929) - you deserved it (2490)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)



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